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How Do I Write a Child Support Letter?

Lainie Petersen
Lainie Petersen

If you are required to pay child support, you may occasionally need to communicate with both the courts and any government agencies that have jurisdiction over your case. To do this, you may need to send a child support letter in accordance with that court or agency’s policies. Before sending a letter, it is a good idea to contact the agency to find out if there is a form that you should fill out instead of writing a letter. This can save you a lot of time and expedite any business that you have with the agency. If you do have to write a letter yourself, it is important that your request is stated clearly, that you identify yourself and your case, and that you retain proof of mailing the letter for your records.

Parents who pay child support may have to communicate with more than one agency or organization about their case. If your children are receiving any kind of government benefits, you may be required to submit a letter in which you state that you are paying child support, as well as pertinent information about the amount of child support you pay and how often you pay it. If there are changes in your obligation and your payments are automatically deducted from your paycheck, you may likewise need to request that your family court send a child support letter on your behalf to your employer's payroll department. In the US, state laws may also require anyone who starts a business or applies for a professional license to complete a letter or form that states that he or she either has no child support obligations or is in compliance with an agreement.

The number of children that a person has is typically considered in determining the amount of child support that she or he must pay.
The number of children that a person has is typically considered in determining the amount of child support that she or he must pay.

Depending on the laws in your area, it may not be a good idea to write directly to the judge. If you have an issue that you need to discuss with him or her, you may want to first seek legal advice and then petition the court for a hearing. When you do have to write a letter to other officials or agencies, it is crucial that whoever reads your letter is able to identify your case and look up your file. Be sure to include your full name, the name or names of your children, as well as your address, phone number, and case identification number. Always date and sign your letter and make a copy for your records. You may need to refer to it in further communication with child support officials.

What Is a Child Support Letter?

Parents who pay child support may have to communicate with more than one agency or organization about their case.
Parents who pay child support may have to communicate with more than one agency or organization about their case.

There are a number of reasons why you may need to have a child support letter or why you would receive a letter. A child support letter could be documentation showing the payments required or it could be a demand or reminder of the need to pay child support.

Demand Letters

The purpose of a demand letter is to inform the paying individual that the child support payment is overdue. The court establishes the child support conditions, where most of the time the obligation for payment is with the non-custodial parent. This could be either the mother or father of the child or children, and the court determines the amount to be paid and when it needs to be paid. If the custodial parent hasn’t received the money according to the requirements, a demand letter may be issued.

Several situations could see a child support demand letter issued. These include:

  • Demand for funds for past due commitments
  • Reminders of child support obligations
  • Demands for payments for bills the individual is responsible for
  • Reminders or notifications about payment deadlines or due dates

Evidentiary Letters

Child support is designed to help custodial parents pay for their children's expenses.
Child support is designed to help custodial parents pay for their children's expenses.

In some cases, the paying parent will need to provide proof that child support factors into their financial obligations or that payment has been issued. The parent receiving the funds may also need to present or issue a letter establishing the history of payments received. This could be called a child support confirmation letter and goes to verify the receipt of child support funds. There are times when a bank statement and canceled checks or receipts could serve as evidence of payments, but letters add another layer of proof.

Voluntary Agreements

Though not a letter initially, voluntary child support agreements often carry equal weight in court as the initial rulings by a judge. These agreements happen when both parents agree to certain points regarding the financial responsibilities for a child or children. The things made in these agreements could include:

  • Defining the funds to be spent on college education (public, private, trade or technical institutions)
  • Descriptions of how the payments will occur
  • Defining additional expenses that could arise past the point of 18
  • Establishing the parameters or conditions to be maintained for funds to continue

When a voluntary agreement has been signed by both parents, the court will generally regard this as a binding contract. When a parent does not follow through with the outlined responsibilities, a child support letter may ensure to collect funds or generate a reminder to pay.

Can You Write a Letter To Stop Child Support?

Though it’s the decision of the court to terminate child support orders, the party with the financial obligation can use a letter to request the court to terminate the order. The parent or legal guardian with the order could have a number of reasons for issuing the letter, but it isn’t the letter that will cancel the required payments. The individual receiving the support can also issue a letter to begin the termination of the support order.

Termination of Child Support

Each state provides guidelines for child support termination, most often with the child either graduating from high school or until reaching the age of majority. In some cases, the support could be extended until the age of 21 or longer when the child has disabilities. The age of majority is established by the state and is the age when the individual moves from being considered a minor to a legal adult. A majority of states put this at age 18. Though the court initially establishes the order for support and has established grounds for termination, the court doesn’t always automatically terminate the order.

While the support obligations may be terminated when the child is emancipated, there could be other reasons to request the court to void or amend the support order. Many states allow individuals who are going through hardship to either suspend or reduce their obligations for a specified amount of time. Both parents may also come to an agreement outside of the court system and wish to handle the financial arrangements on their own. This could lead to sending a letter to the court to request a stop to child support requirements.

Letter Requirements

If you wish to stop child support, your letter should be filed with the court and sent to the appropriate involved parties. The court may have a specific form or template to complete to expedite the process, but the general purpose is to inform the court of the involved parties, request the termination and provide the information and reasons that support the request.

Frequently Asked Questions

What details should I include in my letter requesting child support? 

When writing a child support letter, giving enough context is key. It is important to provide details regarding your child's living arrangements and any funding needed, broken down neatly and logically, when composing a child support letter. The child's full name, birthdate, and current address must all be included. Along with the amount of child support being requested by the parent with custody, it's also critical to mention the parent-child connection. You should also include a thorough explanation of the child's needs, such as daycare, medical expenditures, and other expenses. Finally, you should include contact details for the parent and the child, such as their telephone number, email address, and mailing address. 

How should a child support letter be formatted? 

It's crucial to format a child support letter so that it is well-organized, expert-looking, and simple to read. Start the letter by addressing it to the parent who is in charge of paying child support. Secondly, express the letter's aim explicitly. For example, you might ask for a certain amount of child support or a rise in the existing amount. After that, give a thorough explanation of the child's requirements and why the desired sum is required. Last but not least, include a signature line and the parent and child's contact information. 

In what kind of voice should I write a letter asking for child support? 

Be respectful and expert while composing a letter requesting child support. Be kind but firm in your delivery. Avoid using accusing language and concentrate on the needs of the child. The letter's objectives are to express the child's financial needs in detail and to ask for the necessary amount of child support. 

How can I make sure my letter of child support is enforceable in court? 

A child support letter needs to be signed by both parties for it to have legal effect. In addition, a notary public needs to notarize the letter. This makes sure that the letter is enforceable and that, if necessary, it may be used as evidence in court. 5. How long should a letter of child support be? The length of a child support letter should be as long as is required to fully describe the kid's requirements and the amount of support being asked for. A child support letter typically shouldn't be longer than two pages. The letter can be longer, though, if the request is complicated or if more details are required to fully explain the child's needs.

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Discussion Comments


Note: Not all fathers are deadbeats. There are deadbeat mothers, as well, and maybe someone should come up with a negative name for all the mothers out there who receive their child support but do not allow those paying fathers to see their children. And the most idiotic solution to non-payment or someone getting in arrears in their child support is jail. Once in jail, the parent (if they have a good job) may lose that job and then where is the money going to come from? Giving someone a record is not going to be a favorable way is ensure employment in the future. Duh!

Everyone is so on the side of condemning the father, but not the mother who doesn't allow the child they created together to have a healthy relationship with both parents. If, as parents, you're all so concerned about getting "financial justice" for your child, you should be equally concerned about providing mental, emotional and spiritual justice for said child. The benefits of two cooperating and constructive parents in a child life is vital to a child's growth.

Girls need their fathers to shape how she views herself and how she expects to be treated by other men for the rest of her life. Mothers who are raising daughters and continually speak negatively about their fathers do their daughters a disservice and shape that daughters' attitudes towards men in general as negative.

And boys need their fathers to help them to manage their emotions and to teach them what it means to be a man. Having never been boys, women often have only a vague notion of how to go about rearing them. Boys are the big losers when families split.

Bottom line: Just because a relationship between two grown people ends, your children's relationships and their need for the love and security of both parents doesn't. Learn to lead by example and truly be an example.

Honestly, it all comes down to money: the lawyers, the court and the child support agencies. As long as parents refuse to come together and do what's best and right for their children and stop making it personal and about their hurt feelings because he or she left me and start taking care of those gifts God gave them to teach, then our children will continue to be broken.

From a divorced mother of three adult children whose father paid child support,visited regularly and provided emotional support to his children who then grew into three college (all with masters) graduates and are self-sufficient. P.S. I know my situation is, or may be thought to be an exception to the rule, but if you work hard, guide firmly and love strong together as equal parents, you can make any exception the rule! God bless all parents. This is not a easy road.


How do you prove that a deadbeat dad is earning income "under the table" and therefore avoiding all child support payments?

I know a single mother of four (all from the same deadbeat) who has a court order for him to pay $500/month (for four children!) and he isn't even paying it! He lives in the house four times the size of his children's tiny rental row home, drives a truck with a logo for the carpet cleaning business his mother owns, has told people he is working and has been seen purchasing items, out with a girlfriend and yet when they try to garnish his wages, his employer (a.k.a. his mother) states that he is no longer an employee. Meanwhile, the mother of these four children is working a $10/hour job and getting minimal assistance from the state and is about to be homeless because of several months of no support payments, let alone not helping at all with child care or taking them to/from school, sports, activities, doctors, dentist, etc.


I feel like these deadbeat fathers need to pay up or just get locked up. I think it is sad that the system can just let an absent father get thousands of dollars behind. It needs to get better for these innocent babies. Agreed?


I think it's definitely worthwhile to see if there's a form for whatever it is you're trying to write a child support letter to a judge for. I've found that for most things where the court is involved, there's always going to be a form for it.

You can usually either go to the court directly and someone will help you find the form. Or, you can check online if you happen to have a computer. These days, pretty much everything is online. A lot of times, you can even type out your responses to the form, then print. This way everything is clear and legible.


@sunnySkys - I agree, I think it's important to get a lawyer, at least for the initial set-up process. I had a friend who was making a child support arrangement with her ex. They were on good terms, and they both agreed on everything. One of them messed up on some of the paperwork, and the whole process got derailed. They should have gotten a lawyer.

I think things get a little bit easier once the arrangement is set up though. If you just need to do something like child support modification, it shouldn't be too difficult to do that on your own.


I've never had to personally deal with child support, because I don't have any kids. But I have a few friends that have had to do things like a child support agreement letter, so I've seen some of the things they've went through.

So I have a few tips. If you're going to be dealing with any kind of court child support proceedings, on either side, just get a lawyer. Seriously. If you forget to fill out one tiny thing, or fill out a form wrong, it will delay you case or whatever you're trying to do for weeks, maybe months. A lawyer can help you avoid all the hassle.

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    • The number of children that a person has is typically considered in determining the amount of child support that she or he must pay.
      By: Petro Feketa
      The number of children that a person has is typically considered in determining the amount of child support that she or he must pay.
    • Parents who pay child support may have to communicate with more than one agency or organization about their case.
      Parents who pay child support may have to communicate with more than one agency or organization about their case.
    • Child support is designed to help custodial parents pay for their children's expenses.
      By: Gabriel Blaj
      Child support is designed to help custodial parents pay for their children's expenses.